Sunday, May 20, 2012

Square peg - round hole

Square peg - round hole. You can see the little tool bench that kids have played with for years. There is a hammer and different peg things to fit into different shapes in the bench. The point is to find and learn what fits or possibly learn to mercilessly beat the poor peg until it fits. By then, the peg is of little use, the tool bench is possibly broken, the hammer is useless, the child is exhausted or upset or possibly exhilarated. Something just doesn't fit in this picture, aside from the peg flattened beyond recognition.

Thank goodness I never tried to be a mechanic. Well, once, while under direct supervision, I did change the spark plugs in my cobalt blue 1987, stick shift, Nissan Sentra. Note the word "once". I have and need only one tool for any and all repairs whether for my car, home, appliance or mortal flesh: a debit card. It's small and convenient, and I can carry it around without the need for a tool belt. It works for me. It's a fit. 

The 5/8" wrench socket adjustable flat-headed with extra grip capacity thingy is probably dandy, but I don't get it. Spreadsheets, while providing valuable information - so I'm told - would better serve as coloring book pages in my world. I don't even have to color the page; let's smell the crayons and remember grade school years and the day Mrs. Glass told me my coloring was so grand because I stayed in the lines. She held up my paper, and revealed the perfectly red colored circle to the whole class. I could not have been more proud. Had she asked me to measure the circumference or radius of the circle (I can't believe I actually remember those words.), I would have certainly shut down, head on desk, given up. 

Puh-lease just let me color the circle.

Such is life. We tend to do what we think we should do even if it does not match what we can do. How many times have I attempted such? It has taken a life time, but just maybe I am finally getting comfortable with the idea that what I can do is what I should do. For whatever reason: perfectionism, a little OCD, expectations from others, Depression era parents' work ethic, harsh self judgment; regardless, my long held belief is that "it" isn't worth it unless it is difficult or hard or unpleasant just like medicine simply does not work unless it tastes like reptile waste-laden swamp water.  

Why shun that which comes easily? Think of the ease with which a freely given gift comes. There is little effort on my part. It is grace-full-y given for me to enjoy. 

So, what fits for you? What gift do you have that you can embrace fully, one that you put off far too often, one that lightens your step or affords you breath when you have time for it? 

Appraising English silver.
Cleaning floors until they are like mirrors.
Learning a new Chopin "Nocturne"
Listening to a hurt soul.
Selling tools, hardware, and spark plugs. :)
Watching children color.
Making cakes (coconut please)
Mailing out debit cards.
You decide...

I know that when I write, I can relax and sense peace and be fully present. Should my keyboard or mouse or PC have a moment of rebellion, I have a debit card, a pad of paper and a pen.  

Pax tecum - Peace be with you.

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